I chose my family.
I know what you're thinking. People say all the time that you choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. And then my moms talk about their chosen family sometimes. Honestly, it confuses me.
What I mean is that I chose who would raise me before I was even born. I dream about it sometimes, and I know it's real. I'm telling you this because I know you won't think I'm crazy. Well, you might think I'm crazy. But you can't lock me up. I was locked up a couple of times, and I didn't like it. But that's a story for another day.
Today, I want to talk about how I chose my family. I suppose you'd call it heaven. We called it Elysium. The name doesn't matter. What matters is the choices we make when we're there and when we're here.
I know what you're thinking. Why would I choose to be born to a mother who tried to kill me?
Oh, wait. You didn't know that yet, did you?
I think I'm getting ahead of myself. I do that sometimes. My mind is a jumble of too many thoughts all trying to get out at the same time. And then my moms try to talk to me, and my teachers, and my friends. Honestly, how does anyone deal with all that input?
There I go again, talking about whatever comes to my mind, getting ahead of myself and confusing the hell out of you.
Oops. Please don't tell my moms I said a naughty word, okay?
Let me start at the beginning. Well, the beginning of life here on earth, anyway. I'll have to start with the parts I've only been told first because I was just born and don't remember. And then, I can tell you the parts I remember all by myself.
My name is Cassandra. I'm twelve years old. And I was born with Asperger Syndrome.
Here's the deal. I told you about my dreams, right? When I dream about the time I had spent in Elysium before I was born, I don't have Asperger Syndrome. And even though I can remember my dreams and remember when I was only a soul with no body, when I wake up, my mind and body are affected by Asperger's, and it's hard for me to fit the pieces together.
And it's important for me to fit the pieces together.
Why, you ask?
Well, you know how sometimes adoptive parents tell their adopted child that they love them even more than biological children because they chose them rather than the child just being dumped on them by accident? This is going to get a bit complicated, so stay with me.
I have two moms. They're lesbians. They can't make accidental babies. They have to choose to make babies in their tummies with something called a donor. Or, like with me, they can adopt. I'm not exactly sure about the donor thing, but I know my biological mom and dad had me by accident. And I was taken from them when I was little because my mom tried to kill me.
I know what you're thinking. That's sad, right? How can I blurt that out with hardly any feelings? Well…I was only a few days old. So I don't even remember it. And besides, in my mind, she wasn't my real mother. She was just my transportation from Elysium to my moms.
Okay, back to the story.
Since I have two moms, I call one of them mama and the other mom so we're not confused.
Mom didn't want me. Well, that's not exactly true. She didn't want any children. So, if mom didn't want children, how did I end up with her and mama?
Remember I told you I chose my family? My moms don't know about Elysium. That's going to be our secret. Shhh.
I love working jigsaw puzzles. You might say I'm obsessed with them. I think my dreams are the reason I love them so much. Elysium is like a giant jigsaw puzzle. Everything and everyone is soul. Once upon a time, the souls all fit together and made a beautiful, perfect universe. And then something happened. The perfect universe was shattered into millions and billions and trillions of pieces. There are so many pieces we could never count them all. I think some people call it the big bang. Whatever.
Have you ever played with magnets? You know how when magnets are turned one way they can't help but snap together? And then when they're turned the other way they can't help but push apart? That's sort of how our souls work.
You see, even when we don't know it, we're all working to put the jigsaw puzzle back together again. And it's a really complicated puzzle with lots and lots of pieces. The puzzles I work with my moms only have five hundred pieces. I can't imagine working a puzzle the size of the universe.
I know what you're thinking. What does all of this talk about jigsaw puzzles have to do with choosing my moms?
Souls in Elysium know what people on earth don't seem to understand. Here on earth, I hear people talk about finding their soul mate. But they're talking about finding someone to date and marry. But the thing is, our soul mates aren't just people we date and marry. Each person we're meant to attract—like those magnets turned the right way?—they are each our soul mate.
I picked my moms because we snap together just like those magnets. And when we snap together just right, we're working that jigsaw puzzle. Who wants to leave a jigsaw puzzle in pieces? Not me, that's for sure.